Sunday, February 28, 2010


Heartbreak is . . .
realizing that the years you've suffered in silence-
the walls you've put up to hide your pain-
the projection of anger and rage-
have created a bottomless pit of guilt and shame
and have kept people away at a safe distance--
or made them jaded to your tears-
jaded yourself to the fury and hatred and hurt.

Heartbreak is . . .
being pushed to the brink-
physically emotionally verbally psychologically battered and broken--
frantically trying to escape the horrors of your existence.

Heartbreak is . . .
after finding the courage and strength and desperation,
reaching out for help
and being rebuffed by the person who swore to always take care of you
from the moment you were born.

Heartbreak is . . .
being discarded
and alone.

Saturday, October 11, 2008


I've started my Parkinson's Unity Walk fundraiser again . . . I thought that this time we'd try to sell something as a fundraiser. I know that reusable shopping bags are becoming all the rage nowadays, so I decided perhaps that would be a good thing to sell. They're a little expensive, but they're very cute and for a good cause. Plus, they're USA made from unbleached cotton and hold up to 40 pounds. Here's some of the designs we're selling:

Let me know if you're interested!

Friday, June 13, 2008

Joba Rules

I'm sitting here watching Joba Chamberlain's first ML at bat versus the Astros and I decided to blog a bit. Weight's still hovering around 144.8. Less than 5 pounds to go! I'm getting excited about the Delaware vacation, I really had a blast last time. I'm going to make pulled pork in the slow cooker when I'm down there; I make my own BBQ sauce (LC, of course), which really is delish. I'll post the recipe on here sometime soon . . .

Jake and I went to Joba's major league starting debut; we had tickets through our partial season plan and then got the ok from my doc to go. We traded in our regular seat tickets for wheelchair accessible seating and were right behind home plate, under the overhang. It was really nice, though Joba didn't pitch too well. We also toured Monument Park (first time for both of us), and were allowed to cut in line because I was in the chair. The Yankees always do a great job of making you feel welcome in the stadium, but this time they really went above and beyond. Jake has some pictures that I'll post as soon as he puts them up.

Wanted to also share 2 more recipes with you. I've made the first one many times and once you get past the ick factor of pork rinds, you'll find they're quite fabulous.

The other recipe I'm dying to try and may make on Sunday for me and my dad (Father's Day!!), along with Butter Lime Tilapia, spinach, and a carb for him (rice pilaf maybe?).

Wonderful chicken fingers-strips

boneless skinless chicken breasts cut into strips
3-4 bags of pork rinds
1/3 cup Parm cheese (optional)
1 tbsp garlic powder
1 tbsp onion powder
1 tsp cumin
1 tsp chili powder
1/2 tsp cayenne pepper
about 1/2 cup mayonnaise

-Preheat the oven to 425f
-Crush the pork rinds in a food processor. You'll need to work in batches to get them nice and ground up. Mix the pork rind crumbs with the seasoning and spread out on a plate.
-Put the mayonnaise on a second plate
-Wash and pat dry the chicken. Lightly coat it with the mayonnaise and then roll in the pork rinds until well coated.
-Bake on a oiled (Pam) coated cookie sheet for about 25 minutes, or until they are fully cooked.

Practically carb free!!

1 tablespoon butter
2 tablespoons cocoa
Tiny pinch salt, optional
1 egg
1 tablespoon Da Vinci sugar free syrup, vanilla flavor
2 tablespoons plus 1 teaspoon granular Splenda or equivalent liquid Splenda
1 tablespoon heavy cream

In a small microwaveable bowl microwave the butter for about 15-20 seconds on HIGH until completely melted. Whisk in the cocoa and salt until smooth. Whisk in the egg until well blended then whisk in the remaining ingredients until you have a smooth batter. Microwave on HIGH 1 minute. Cool completely or serve slightly warm.

Makes 1 serving
Can be frozen

With granular Splenda:
Per Serving: 267 Calories; 23g Fat; 9g Protein; 11g Carbohydrate; 4g Dietary Fiber; 7g Net Carbs

With liquid Splenda:
Per Serving: 253 Calories; 23g Fat; 9g Protein; 7g Carbohydrate; 4g Dietary Fiber; 3g Net Carbs

UPDATE: I remember reading on a forum a while back that someone had a problem when they tried this method for making the cake. Well, the same thing happened to me today but I found a solution. What happened was that the batter didn't come together properly. It looked like milk with chocolate bits floating in it no matter how much I whisked it. The solution is to microwave it on HIGH power for about 10 seconds. You don't want to cook the mixture, just heat it up slightly. Now it should whisk together and look like brownie batter. I think what happened was that the cold ingredients caused the butter and cocoa to harden up and separate. Briefly heating everything helped blend them together. I think that the trick to preventing this is to make sure to thoroughly melt the butter and mix everything right away while the butter is still hot.

Friday, June 6, 2008

Time . . .

Well, a long time has passed since my last blog. I've finished my 2nd year of grad school and am now taking the first of three summer classes toward my MSW. I'm hoping that next year my internship at the Bruce Street School for the Deaf will work out; it will give me a chance to work with children and families, as well as help me get my foot in the door should I decide to go into school social work.

Jake and I celebrated our one year anniversary last month; he surprised me by taking me out for a fancy meal, giving me a strand of lovely pearls, and buying tickets for a Yankees/Mets game on the actual day of our anniversary. It was very generous and quite overwhelming. I got him a TomTom GPS system and a boxed set of "Blue Planet." Seems a little pale in comparison, doesn't it?

I had what I hope is the last of my reconstructive surgeries on my burn scar last month as well. I'm healing well and the scar looks better than it ever has. I've still got some stitches in, so I have to continue to take it easy. Let me tell you, laying around and staying off your feet gets old mighty quick. I should get the last of my stitches out on Monday, and then I can work on rebuilding my stamina and strength, etc.

I hit another new low on the scale today: 145.4. That means I'm officially 4.6 pounds from my 40 pound goal set last July 1st. Crazy. I wonder if I'll make my goal in time for my one year anniversary of Atkins? I got my dear friend Alva started on Atkins as well and she's already lost 10 pounds and is feeling good. That makes me happy.

Well, that's about it for now. I just found a new blog chock-full of LC recipes, so I'm itching to try them out and repost on here if they're good. Now if only I were allowed to drive to the store . . .


Thursday, April 17, 2008

Oh yeah

And last night on the ferry there was a guy with a Yankees' bishop's hat on that said "Yankees" on front, and on the back: "Benedict 16." It was really funny. Apparently there was some way to get them because as we were leaving the game, there was another group of guys wearing the same hat. The best was when one of them turned around to mock Red Sox fans, yelling "The Pope hates the Red Sox." LOL

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

A Cold NY Night

It was a very cold night, but there was nowhere better to be than in the Bronx at Yankee Stadium watching the Yankees and Red Sox battle it out for the first time in NY this season. It was such a thrilling game, with the Sox taking a 1-0 lead in the top of the 1st, and then the Yankees responding with back-to-back home runs in the bottom of the 1st, making it 1-3, New York. The score bounced back and forth with the two teams fighting mightily for the lead. Final score was 9-15 Yanks. The game lasted over four hours. And it was cold. That being said, note this: I love baseball!!!

Joba'ss still out on bereavement leave, which means we didn't see him pitch again today (*sadness*). The rumor mill says that Harlan's doing a little better, so that's good news. The pen seems weird (and a lot weaker) in his absence.

Can I just say now that Boston fans are horrid people? Wow, what idiots. We had a row of 8 "plastics" sit in front of us (Mean Girls reference), 7 of whom were obnoxious Boston fans. Half of them apparently were not sporting their natural hair color, and I'm willing to bet most of them had plastic surgery as well. They were obnoxious and got pissy when we cheered for the Yanks (Uh, hello? We're in Yankee Stadium. Get over it.) and even more pissy when we loudly and lustily booed their beloved Sox. Sucks to be a Boston fan.

I saw a shirt today that tickled me pink . . . The front said: "There was no curse . . ." and the back: "Boston just sucked for 86 years." LOL Jake's parents weren't home when I was heading back from Trenton today, so he couldn't wear his "Evil Empire" shirt.

A lot more to blog on, but I'm trying to think of how to word it. Stay tuned.

Saturday, April 12, 2008


So I hit a new low on the scale today. 146.6. Cool. I'm 6.6 pounds from my goal weight. I'm looking forward to settling in to a size though, this not fitting into anything right makes me a little frustrated.

Wong pitched a 2 hitter against the B-Sox yesterday, which made me a happy lady. It would have been a no score game except Bobby Abreu fucked up a catch and allowed a home run. I hate that guy. He makes more money that humanly acceptable, yet he plays with no heart and no guts. Sad.

I made a lemon and herb roasted chicken last night that was tasty, but the bird was the fucking largest one I've ever seen (I think he was on 'roids), so it took forever and a day to cook. I'll try the recipe again, with a smaller bird next time.

Jake and I went for a hike around the Manasquan Reservoir the other day, which was okay. It wasn't much of a hike, more like a gravel road through the woods where occasionally you got a glimpse of the water. I think I like the Cheesequake hiking trails a lot better. Much more rugged and isolated. But my luck for running into people I know in the most random places has continued . . . I ran into Jodie and a friend of hers on the path at the reservoir. Weird. I saw her up above and was like "That looks like Jodie." Sure enough it was. We've been talking about getting together for ages, and voila, there she was.

Jake's still hooked on his Star Wars Wii game, and I'm ready for the baseball game at 4. :o) I love it when the Yanks play Boston. I'm all psyched and ready for the game next Wednesday. I just hope it's a wee bit warmer than it was last time.

That's enough for now . . .
Be well!